Mom is comfortably resting, with deep breaths from her diaphragm, eyes closed in solitude, body still. Each week seems like several months have gone by with the rapid changes that we have witnessed in her, from "forgetfulness" to undeniable memory loss, to tremors and difficulty walking, to the intermittent loss of vision, to frightening anxiety, to one word responses and then no responses, from tenseness of muscles to stillness. I wonder what she hears now and takes in from the world around her, the constant hub-bub of Catie-Cate squeeling and nurses visiting, "Mercy, Mercy, Mercy" playing in the background, novels read and prayers shared.
She has embodied the gentle and the strong, the matriarch of our family who has always cooked amazing meals, sewed our outfits, wove our blankets, created a space for creativity to happen, and eeked out whatever creativity we might have hidden down deep in those crevices of our being where no one else bothered to look... there she was... shining her light on all that we could be and all that we are. Thank you Mom!
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I've been thinking about Alice a lot, so thank you for posting how she is doing. It is heart-breaking to think of her as changing so rapidly. I remember when my mom was at CCU, even a brief moment when her eyes focused on us was a cause for celebration because we knew we connected with her. I hope there are still lots of those moments when you see her eyes as they were. We are praying for all of you that you will have God's comfort and love and grace.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Soni (and Stan)